Smite Thine Enemies

Morning radio on the People's Network is a passion of mine. Like my regular 7am coffee, I can't do without it. I was likewise engaged this morning when I recognized a voice from the past responding to Piya Chattopadhyay, the host.

From out of Political purgatory came the voice of Roger 'the Revelator' Grimes, former premier of this great land--for a very brief period. He had indeed returned with words of wisdom, prophecy, and advice for the Forsaken Posse at Confederation Building  and their Dear leader, Dwight.

At first, Grimes reminded me of a present day version of the great prophet Isaiah, he of Old Testament fame. On one of his off days at the temple in Jerusalem some 2700 years ago, Isaiah allowed that 'truth has stumbled in the street and uprightness cannot enter.' he could very well have been thinking about present day Newfoundland and Labrador.

As the interview progressed, however, Grimes morphed into a modern day Joshua, he of Jericho fame who succeeded Moses. Early on, Joshua was a bit of a gentleman and didn't go around picking fights with just anybody, not even the opposition. It was only after the walls came tumbling down that he decided he could go farther in political life by being really, really mean.

Joshua then gained quite a reputation as the merciless leader of the Israelites. Henceforth he was one hard ticket. Bad, Bad, Leroy Brown couldn't hold a candle to Joshua. His friend, Achan, thought he should get a big bonus for helping Joshua with the Jericho stuff. So unbeknowst to Joshua, Achan helped himself to silver and gold and shekels as well as a nice robe from the treasury of Jericho.

Joshua fell flat on his face when he found out about it but then he had Achan stoned to death. Then he burned to death all Achan's sons and daughters and their donkeys and sheep and goats.

After that, Joshua besieged the city of Ai just to show he really meant business. His men killed every last Ai soldier, murdered all the women and children, then killed the king and hung his body from a tree. In order to be transparent about it all, Joshua asked God to stay the sun so everything could be done in the light of day.

Fast forward 3400 years.

Grimes' advice to the besieged premier: Get nasty and mean--meaner than a junkyard dog. Meaner than Joshua. make it like a good hockey fight.

"Dwight Ball is way too much of a gentleman," said Grimes. "He's showing too much respect and kindness to people like Ed Martin and Ken Marshall [of Muskrat Falls fame]. These people don't hesitate to punch Dwight Ball in the eyeball, punch him in the nose, punch him below the belt, stab him between the shoulder blades."

Thus Spake Roger.

I'm not making this up.

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